TwoSpade’s Deck

So a few days ago I started giving into a little peer pressure and playing Castle Crashers with a couple of my coworkers.  We did it immediately after work which all kinds of screwed up my gym schedule, which probably pissed off another coworker.  In any case, I kicked my own ass so that I would only play on my days off from the gym with them, and got to sleep on time yesterday.

By some fluke, I woke up 4 hours earlier than I should have and felt fully refreshed and ready to go.  Expectedly, after hitting the gym and having a fun filled 12 hour shift, I started to crash.  Great!  I’ll be back on my good schedule tomorrow right?  RIGHT?

*KNOCK KNOCK* “KBR!”  It was next door, but they might as well have been standing on my bed.  Despite the fact that most people work during the day, they decided they should do this at least three times before going inside.

Okay fine.  They are probably just fixing his A/C or something, they’ll be really quick and move along.  It has happened before.  Did I hear a drill?  Whatever…zzz…

*KNOCK KNOCK* “KBR!”

Maybe they noticed something about my door.  See about three days ago, they did a fire inspection while I was gone.  Some proactive KBR person probably thought they were being super helpful by noticing that my door had a “Day Sleeper” sign on the front, but because it was clearly 0840 when they visited my room, obviously that wasn’t true!  My sign was removed:

I get home at 1000, and sleep until 1800.  Does that qualify as “Day Sleeper” to anyone else?

Anyway, obviously it must be something important right?  So they knock on my  door three times, and begin unlocking it themselves while I’m still stumbling to find some clothes to throw on.  I open it, much to their surprise (they probably expected a “Day Sleeper” sign on the door) and explain they needed to install a hook.  What…the…fuck…

That’s right, take a really close look here, because something about this is really fucking important.  It is important enough for them to wake me up and install it in the middle of the day at least:

Okay, fine!  It isn’t the greatest way to wake up, and having them drill into your wall will be hard to get over, but you can hop right back into bed and crash now.  I mean it only took them a few minutes.  Just crawl back in…get all situated again…start to drift off and you’ll be…

*BEWwwww…* (Power goes out.)

Now normally, you wouldn’t think that this would matter for someone trying to sleep.  In this case, it effected things three-fold.

First, my A/C unit turning off is like an alarm clock to me.  When I come home from Iraq (hm…someday!), I will tell everyone right now, the hardest thing I am going to have to face is sleeping without a whirring fan making noise.  I work in a server room with whirring fans, my A/C unit is NEVER shut off, and outside, well, I live in a war zone-so it ain’t quiet.  Needless to say, I woke up (if I even went back to sleep) immediately.

Second, apparently, the fire extinguisher hooks were just Phase 1 of a plan, because shortly after that, what sounded like 18 KBR people went into the room next door and started hammering and drilling…something!  I had no idea what they were doing, but again, with my A/C unit off and unable to drown out any other sound, they might as well have used my head as a step to reach the ceiling where they were, at least in my imagination, installing a hockey arena scoreboard.  I mean, it required the same sized team that it would take to install one of those at least.

Thirdly, I had the privilege of hearing who shut my power off.  See KBR uses Walkie-Talkie technology to communicate how to terrorize us sleeping folk.  So I got to hear all about how they shut down power…TO ONLY MY TRAILER.  That’s right.  My trailer is 271, where I live in Unit B.  Apparently since my neighbor was getting his rink installed, they needed to shut down the power.  Isn’t that special?  So I got to hear all the updates on how and when my power was going to be restored via the loud radios attached to the team of 18 people next door installing whatever the hell it was blaring while they responded in broken English.

Surely this can’t take forever and I can get back to slee-*KNOCK KNOCK* “KBR!”

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I open the door to a new team, this one also surprised to see me, as surely there should be a sign on the door or some such shit, indicating if someone were sleeping inside during the day.  They explained, mostly through sign language and the only recognizable word they said from the English language: “light,” that they were here to install a new light.

By now I was so defeated.  I knew I wasn’t going to get any more sleep.  I shrugged and let them in.  I asked them if they could fix the outside light since it was broken a while ago.  They said they were replacing them all.  At least a small victory.  Hey maybe the new light will be nicer for my room or something.  Maybe it is “greener” too.  Wait, that isn’t a new light, that just looks like some extra pieces and some long screws.  What the…

Had I known what was going to happen I would have been able to take “Before” pictures, but this is the result of their “new light” install:

As I watched the two “electricians” install my “new light” and tried to establish what the armed African security guard was so interested in reading on the back of my Brett Favre jersey, I accepted that I wasn’t going back to sleep.

I made one attempt to make a second small victory for myself and asked if they had any tape to fix the cover to my A/C unit, which kept falling off and getting dust all over Jason’s now completely dirt filled bed.  I didn’t understand a damn word they guy said, but he yelled down the row.  Apparently this was going to be the third guy that would have woken me up later to check out my A/C unit.  I got it out of the way early.  Lucky me.

So if you need me, I’m going to kick off my shower shoes under my fire extinguisher and I’ll be on Xbox Live for the next few hours trying to get achievements in NHL 09 under my “new light,” and enjoy the rest of my morning.  Hope everyone is just swell!

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 18th, 2009 at 6:34 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.